F.I.N.E

I just got passed turning another year older.  I have faced a lot of changes over this past year. I have moved twice and changed jobs three times. That is a lot to do in a year.  And it tends to leave you feeling a little up in the air. Like you are looking for a place to land. Its been a while since I have felt settled. I hope I am making my way there.  With all this happening and seeing another year in my life go by, I can help but reflect on what I have accomplished so far and where am I headed.


I feel its important to have goals for yourself and your life. With out them I think you end up being the dog that is chasing its tail, never actually getting it.


I'M FINE.

F.I.N.E

I am Freaked Out. Insecure. Neurotic. And Emotional. Ya I'm fine. That sums up my current state perfectly. You know from my last post that there has been quiet the emotional upset in my family with  the death of a dear friend. Well my week only went further down hill from there. I had to go get my license renewed. I got into the office and everything was going well, till the DMV person went to input my info. Apparently I have neglected an important step in claiming my identity. I never changed my maiden name to my married name on my SS card after getting married. So the DMV, which is now linked to the Social Security Department would not renew my license till I rectified the problem. This means I have been grounded. I can't drive. I never knew how much that would bother me till...well... it happened. Suddenly I couldn't be spontaneous anymore. I have to arrange what errands I do and going to work around when Dear Husband can take me. This was a hard blow. And made me mad! Made me frustrated. And most of all it made me mad at myself.

After all this was not the DMV's fault. Sure I would like to blame them. How dare they be connected to the system and demand that I prove who I am! DUH! That's how things are run. I am not a special person everyone has to do this, either that or be considered outlaws! As romantic as the notion of being an outlaw sounds, I don't think I could survive! So I am mad at myself because this whole stressful shebang could have been avoided, if I had not procrastinated and been a little more on top of things. That what it boils down to! After getting married I didn't do it right away because I kept thinking "Oh I have time. No hurries. No worries". Well last week was when it all came to bite me in the butt.

Of course this whole fiasco brought me to full attention to other, should have's, could have's and so on. This caused me to stop and really think about where I am at in my current life path(turning another year older was also a good reminder of all this).  On a positive note I am very happy with being a crazy over caffeinated bundle of joy something.  I am not a morning person. That is never going to change, I have come to that conclusion. Even if I have a billion kids and I am forced to be up early morning, it does not mean I am going to suddenly start singing joyfully because I am up at an ungodly hour. I love musicals and old movies featuring Cary Grant, Gene Kelly, or Frank Sinatra. I like things to be simple and as carefree as possible.

This is all good and well, but I also found on my self reflecting moment that while I want things to be simple and carefree, I don't actually have things set up to accomplish that! I can never find paper work that I really to find. Bills that come in get tossed here and there. Forget about asking me where last years tax return is! My pantry? No clue what in there. The laundry room?  OSHA would probably condemn it. Craft room? The room that is to be my sanctuary and creative happy place? Non existent. Budget? What budget?

 See what I mean? All of that is very important to living a successful stress free life, I would think. And mine is no where to be found! Oh I have made feeble attempts but obviously nothing that took or stuck. At this rate I am doing more damage and harm than good. I am making myself work harder, thus creating more stress for myself. If that's not being counter-intuitive then I don't know what to call it.

It is very obvious to me that I need a proverbial kick in the butt. I need to create effective change in my life to reflect all the change that keeps evolving in my life.  When I came across Toni's blog A bowl full of lemons, I knew I had found the place where my transformation could begin. She talks about Organizing, Budgeting and of course Decorating. She has a down to earth approach and she did something I could not pass up. She created a challenge. As soon as some one challenges me or tells me I can't do it, I become even more determined to do it.

Toni came up with a 21 Day Organizing Challenge. It takes 21 days to form or break a habit. In my case I think its a bit of both. Deciding to do this could not come at a better time and in case there wasn't enough reason to get whipped into shape, I also have my parents coming down for a visit in 6 weeks. So I want my house in good presenting order!  And what I love is that I have to post it here on my blog(which I would have anyway), as well as hers. That's a lot of accountability! But motivational as well.  Any one else feel like they need an organization intervention or boot-camp? Stop by every day to see what progress I am making. I feel very excited to get this going what a way to kick off the month of May(can you believe its May already?).

Till next time,

Amanda